Doing your own thing in life-
A popular definition of success is “being able to live your life in your own way, doing only those things that you want to do, with the people who you choose, in the situations you desire.
” In each case, when you begin to define what “success” means to you, you can immediately see things that you should be doing more of or less of in order to begin creating your ideal life. And the biggest thing that holds you back from moving in the direction of your dreams is usually your favorite excuses and a lack of self-discipline.
Brian Tracy
It’s not that you don’t know what to do, but rather that you don’t have the discipline to make yourself do what you should do, whether you feel like it or not.
Ways of Doing Your Own Thing in Life
In my opinion, if a person has a unique set of values, preferences or interests, they should attempt to find a method to express themselves without having to conform to the societal standard. There are moments when we all have to be realistic and compromise, but in the long run, we’re happier when we can remain loyal to our core values..
If you’re like me, you’re probably guilty of some of the items on this list to one degree or another. Here are my recommendations for pursuing your own path:
Make peace with who you are.
Accept yourself for who you are and don’t feel guilty about not being lured to busy clubs or preferring peaceful times. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself if you’re able to do this. People will be more inclined to assume that “if they appear good with themselves, then they must be okay” if you exude ease, confidence, and self-assurance. The person you were in the past is not the same person you are now.
Stop feeling bad about the things you did when you were younger. You’ve learned from them, and it’s time to move on from them. Stop focusing on what you’ve already done and start thinking about what you will do.
Self-respect is crucial to your happiness. If you don’t respect yourself, figure out why. What qualities do you respect in others? If you like people who are selfless, try to be less selfish. If you like people who are giving, volunteer to help out a charity. You’ll be helping others while feeling better about yourself.
Do not worry what other people think of you.
Our fears about what other people think of us are overblown and rarely worth fretting over. Paying attention to the opinions of others is understandable and, to a certain extent, rational. We are all sensitive to criticism, therefore it is easier said than done.
If you don’t care about people’s emotions, you may not realize that their replies might have real-world effects. If you wear the same outfit to work every day for a month and don’t care what your coworkers think, your career will suffer. If you’re doing something that isn’t harming yourself or anybody else, then it’s possible to learn to not care about it.
Accept that you’ll cause an uproar along the way.
If you’re always defying the rules, you’re going to get into trouble. You must be able to accept the fact that you may anger someone for no reason at all. Some people may take it personally if you don’t attend their gatherings, for instance. No one would miss a huge get-together unless they didn’t like the other guests or were being intentionally unpleasant, according to this group’s perspective.
What you’re like, and what you require, should be made clear to others.
People with Asperger’s Syndrome, those who prefer to spend time alone, or those who require a lot of alone time are often offered this advice. Basically, if they left everyone to their own devices, people would interpret their actions in a bad light.
They seek to prevent this by letting them know the agreement upfront. Their coworkers may hear them explain to their colleagues that it’s not personal that they like to recharge by taking lunch on their own, or that their Asperger’s occasionally causes them to come off as more direct and insensitive than they meant.
In the event that this strategy succeeds, you have the official support and knowledge to pursue your own path. It’s possible that the individuals you inform may not understand what you’re saying and refuse to help you. If you’ve been diagnosed with autism, you may have some legitimate concerns about revealing this information. There are many individuals who don’t comprehend it, and the potential bad repercussions may be too high a risk.
Don’t hesitate to say “no.”
Many people will try to get you to do things that you don’t want to do because they see you as an outlier in society. You’ll have to become accustomed to asserting yourself and saying no. Saying “no” in a forceful yet polite manner is often recommended.
Using an excuse at times is more convenient than providing a more detailed explanation, but at other times it’s better, to be honest. The Broken Record Method works effectively if someone is persistent. Regardless of what the other person says, just respond, “Sorry, I can’t do that,” and don’t be drawn into an argument. In the end, they will have to give up.
Make use of your daily routine to get the things you need through it.
Often, this counsel is delivered in the context of a person requiring some time to themselves. While their daily schedule may not allow for extensive recharge breaks, the notion is that they may still find ways to carve out time for themselves. During lunch, they might take a stroll or shut the door to their workplace for 30 minutes. An even more extreme example would be a person who works from home most of the week.
Don’t seem overly angry and resentful.
Be careful not to seem irritated or furious when you do things like reject individuals or seek for special considerations. To put it simply, if someone comes off as bitter, their message is likely to get lost in translation. If you come out as too emotional, people are more inclined to dismiss what you’re saying, even if you’re making a good point.
You’ll receive a better reaction from others if you seem upbeat and laid-back about your social difference while remaining secure in your right to be that way “Oh, she certainly appears to be in control. She’s got a point, I’m sure.” But even if you think it’s stupid, it works for the most part, and that’s what has worked for me so far.
Be so significant to others that they have no choice but to make room for you.
Although not everyone has the opportunity to do so, those who do have greater power to demand what they desire. At first, they may be reluctant to accept, and they may continue to hold a grudge against what you’ve given them.
However, it’s also possible that they’ll come to understand that accommodating you wasn’t as horrible as they initially thought it would be. Because everyone relies on them to keep the systems working at their corporate employment, the IT specialist is able to dress more casually than their coworkers.
Get to the point where you aren’t dependent on anybody else for anything at all.
Longer-term considerations apply to this and the following points. In situations when we rely on others, we frequently have to make sacrifices in order to meet their needs. However, what if you already have all you needed? You wouldn’t have to hide your true self and could behave any way you liked.
People will have to rethink their perceptions of you if you are so successful.
This one is likewise easier in principle, as far as I’m aware. They have just one close buddy and spend much of their time focusing on art or creating games. All of us believe that we are socially unfit and squandering our free time.
You’ll ultimately be able to make a life as an artist or independent game developer if you just keep doing what you’ve been doing. After all those hours in alone, it no longer seems like a waste of time “You know what I mean? As it turns out, they’re more of a wacky and creative genius than a terrifying recluse. And their outfits aren’t as outlandish as they first seem…”
Regardless of how hard you try, some people will never be able to relate to you. However, success may help. It also helps others who are in the same situation. It’s easy to see how the billionaires in Silicon Valley have changed our perceptions of computer geeks. It didn’t lead to universal acceptance right away, but it did change the way people spoke about it.
Consider yourself a good sociable person.
Many times, when it looks that a person’s esoteric pastime or fondness of being alone is being criticized, the true issue is their social discomfort. Awkwardness may have a detrimental impact on a person’s reputation because of the way human psychology operates. A person’s social skills might be approved if they seem to be well-developed. It’s not right or reasonable, yet it happens all the time.
If you’re a fan of comic books, video games, or spending a lot of time reading on your own, you’re not the only one! As a result, no one cares about their interests since they produce such a wonderful impression. If someone performs the same thing as you but is more stereotypically geeky, you’ll get the same reaction: “Woah, what an idiot. It’s time for him to put down the comic books and get some fresh air.”
Acquiring some basic social skills that you can switch on when you’re with others can provide you a lot of flexibility to pursue other hobbies without having to worry about being interrupted by others.
However, if your social style is one of “doing your own thing,” then this point won’t apply to you since you care little about social skills or don’t like the thought of learning something to appease others and get them off your back.
Give someone a pat on the back if you must.
To put it another way, in order to maintain things in balance, we must all make concessions from time to time. For the company Christmas party, if your employer allows you to stay to yourself most of the time but expects everyone to go, then put yourself in mingling mode’ for a few hours. Or, if you have a good relationship with your coworkers, you may join them at the bar on Fridays, even if you’d like to avoid it at all costs.