The Truth About You

The bottom line is this: If we cannot accept ourselves, that we’re worthy and deserving, then we cannot accept that other people are worthy and deserving, and will therefore be judgment of them. 

The solution is to develop unconditional love for ourselves and others. This is the only way that we can ever be free. We must have 

total acceptance of ourselves first and then others, knowing that, as we are spiritually perfect, so is everyone else. 

You Have Created Yourself 

In a very important way, you’ve created yourself whether you realize it or not. All the character traits, mannerisms, ways of talking, ways of walking, facial expressions, gestures, and even ways of thinking and believing, you have borrowed, imitated, or made your own. It may have been from a parent or other family members, a favorite teacher, a friend, or a character in a book or a movie. 

Maybe you borrowed from someone you didn’t even like. It may have been from someone who made you feel uncomfortable or afraid. Imitating that person could have been a way of making you feel less afraid and a way of intimidating others. 

Never Reject Yourself in Any Way 

It’s important to take a look at the personality that you’ve created. Perhaps one of the reasons you keep yourself from doing this is because you’ve been an imitator. It’s not uncommon to get hung up on this. It may help to understand that nobody can create a Self from scratch. Everyone has to do the same thing. Everybody chooses from what’s available.

Even though you may have built your personality through imitation, you’re not a fraud. No one else has ever put together the same combination that you have. Don’t forget there are only twelve notes in the musical scale, and yet many hundreds of thousands of unique and beautiful combinations are created. It’s all a matter of how they are put together. 

It doesn’t make you any less of a unique person to have taken from others. The wonderful thing about this is that since you put it together from scratch, you can change it at any time you want to. You’re never stuck. It’s not a disaster to discover that you’re not the person that you thought that you were. On the contrary, it’s the beginning of the end of the disaster. 

To change the experiences that are causing you pain and disharmony, it’s necessary, to begin with a clear understanding that you never help yourself by rejecting any part of yourself.

We get into self-hatred because we set up a picture of how we think we should be based on the conditioning from our family, peer groups, mates, religion, and the society that we live in. The sad part of this is that we’ll never be able to live up to the pictures, images, models, standards, or concepts of how we think we should be. It’s a psychological dead-end. 

Freedom Begins with Self-Acceptance 

We’ve allowed our ego to trick us into believing that we’re incompetent, inadequate, insecure, stupid, bad, evil, and unworthy. All of this can be summed up as poor self-esteem and a poor self-image. Until we make a conscious decision to change our thought patterns, we will continue to have poor self-esteem and a poor self-image.

The first and most important thing in your life is self-acceptance, to love who you are – to be yourself. Only when you love yourself can you begin to love others. 

Many people say you should forget about yourself and love others first. Well, it doesn’t work that way. The truth is, you must first accept yourself with all your mistakes – all of your so-called sins, all the times you looked like a fool, and all the times you’ve acted inappropriately. You must be able to stand before the entire world and 

make no excuse for yourself. When you can do that, you’re coming from a position of unconditional love. 

How you see yourself creates your behavior, and this behavior creates your environment or your results. When you attach your self-worth to your accomplishments or your behavior, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. No matter how hard you try; someone is going to think you’re not okay. Remember this: you’ll always be a failure in someone’s eyes.

You’ll never win everyone over, sometimes not even a majority. Take a look at how much of your life is about winning approval and realize this important truth: You’ll never get the approval you seek! You simply can’t please everyone, so learn to please yourself and enjoy who you are. 

You Can’t Fail as a Person 

It’s worth repeating that who you are is spiritually perfect, but what you do is not always perfect. What you do may succeed or fail, but you can detach yourself from the results by remembering that you can never be a success or a failure based on what you have and what you do. There’s no way that you can fail in life as a person. You’re not set up that way. 

When you’re into hating yourself for all the things that you’ve done or haven’t done, or into hating other people for what they haven’t given you, you’re into suffering. Suffering is a way of putting yourself down.

It’s a way of being angry with yourself. If you get down to it, anger and suffering and lack of happiness in our lives come from being disappointed in ourselves for not living up to some expectation that we have of ourselves, or that someone else has of us. 

In working with people who have self-destructive behaviors, I have found that the major cause of their behavior is self-hatred. Their self-hatred stemmed from the fact they hadn’t lived up to someone else’s expectations.

Most of us judge ourselves based on what we have or don’t have and what we’ve accomplished or what we haven’t. We feel that when we are a failure, we’ve let others and ourselves down. When we don’t come up to the expectations of our parents, employers, religion, friends, or mates, we conclude that we’re no good. This is known as self-judgment. 

When you’re standing in judgment of yourself, you will judge yourself as bad. And as soon as you put yourself down for something that you have or haven’t done, or something that did not work out, or for a situation where you disappointed someone else, you feel bad. Yet this type of judgment only serves to carve away at what little self-esteem you have. It never does any good; it only destroys. 

Each one of us indeed has things in our lives that we regret, but at some point, we have to stop dwelling on the regret and move on. We have to learn the lesson and throw away the experience. 

We can never be for anyone as long as we are against ourselves. To be against others is to be against ourselves. This is a spiritual and psychological truth. The most corrupt thing that we can do is judge someone.

To suppress another individual and take away another’s aliveness is one of the most negative and self-destructive behaviors a person can have. 

Release Everyone Including Yourself 

What would happen if you had no regrets about the past? Try to imagine what would happen if you forgave everyone in your life 

regardless of what they did to you? Hopefully, you are beginning to see that to the degree that you cannot forgive – whether it be yourself or someone else – you perpetuate unhappiness, poverty, sickness, lack, and limitation in your life. 

Many people don’t want to forgive others. They say things like, “Why should I let them off the hook after what they did to me? The enemy is always someone we think can harm us or take something away from us, but the truth is no one can harm us. People harm us through ourselves. Actually, they don’t harm us at all. We give them instructions on how to treat us, and they just follow through. 

Decide to give up all resentment right now, because in the end, it will eventually destroy you. “Yes,” you say, “I agree with you, but you don’t know my circumstances. They hurt me. Maybe I’ll give up my resentment someday, but right now I can’t let go.” Understand that this mentality is more harmful and destructive to you than it is to the person that you resent. 

Turn your attention to this idea: You cannot be wealthy if you resent wealthy people. You cannot be successful if you resent successful people. You cannot be happy if you resent happy people.

Whatever you resent is a statement of what you lack. This also applies to healing. You cannot be healed if you have resentment towards anyone because resentment breaks down your immune system and cause your sickness. 

Remember, whomever you resent is you, because we’re all one. Rather than resent people who have what you don’t have, or do what you cannot do, take the time to learn from these people. Let them become your teachers. Be with masters. Be with people who know how life works. Admire them, acknowledge them and support them in having 

what they have. And as you do that, you support yourself in having what you want. 

If you study philosophy and religion, you will see that the values, morals, and principles they teach are often rooted in the belief that something is better than something else. A is always better than B. Don’t get caught in that trap. Forget about what other individuals or groups believe is “right” for you. Instead, realize you are connected to the same Source of Power and that you know what is best for you. 

Pleasing Others is A Psychological Dead-End 

About 700 years ago, a great teacher ripe with years and honors lay dying. His students and disciples asked if he was afraid to die. “Yes,” he said, “I am afraid to meet my Maker.” “But how can that be?” the students and disciples responded. “You have lived such an exemplary life.

You led us out of the wilderness like Moses. You have judged between us wisely like Solomon.” Softly he replied, “When I meet my Maker, He will not ask, ‘Have you been like Moses or Solomon?’

He will ask, ‘Have you been yourself?’ The story shows that throughout time, people have struggled to be themselves. Why are we still struggling? The struggle comes out of our need to please others. 

By assuming your destiny, you’re bound to get someone angry – your boss, your spouse, your parents, your children. At first, assuming your destiny can be a lonely process, and it may seem that everyone is against you. But the only image you must live up to is your own. The opinions of those who approve or disapprove are irrelevant. 

The decision to live your life is your responsibility. The results of your own life are your responsibility. Your action or 

inaction becomes your responsibility. Often other people will have values and beliefs that conflict with yours. And when they see you living in opposition to their values and beliefs, it can be very frightening for them because, in a way, it threatens their foundation. 

When a person is confronted with your beliefs, there’s an inner battle that’s waged, and the battle is, “Could they possibly be right? And if they are, that means I could be wrong.

” A person who knows who they are is not threatened by the beliefs of others. Those who are insecure and do not know who they are will always be frightened by anyone who directly or indirectly threatens their belief system. 

How Do You Treat Yourself? 

Let me ask you:

• Do you like yourself?
• Do you trust yourself?
• Do you keep promises that you make to yourself?
• Do you think that you’re a good person?
• Are you yourself most of the time, or have you developed an act to cover up who you are?
• If you had a friend who treated you like you treat yourself, or talked to you the way that you talk to yourself, and broke commitments to you the way that you break commitments to yourself, do you think you’d keep him as a friend?

Let’s face it, you probably wouldn’t want that type of person around. 

It’s very important to take a look at the way we treat ourselves. Most of the time we are our own worst enemy. We are afraid to meet our inner selves because we think we may not like what we see. 

I often hear people say, “I want to explore myself, but I’m afraid of what I’m going to find out about myself. I’m afraid of the strange creatures that I may find along the way or the journey.” Understand this clearly, it is impossible for the truth about yourself to cause fear. No matter how terrible the truth may be, it is 

powerless in itself to either frighten or harm you. Fear is caused by 

resistance to the truth and by misunderstanding it. 

Start the Journey of Self-Discovery 

Start your journey of self-discovery at once. Nothing but good can come from it. The understanding of fear cures fear. Don’t get hung up on the kind of person that you think that you are.

Don’t concern yourself with whether you’re better or worse than other people. Instead, try to know yourself as the kind of person that you are and the kind of person you would like to be. 

If you look at a half-finished house that is under construction, you don’t condemn it for its unfinished condition. You don’t say it’s inferior to another house, nor are you concerned with its appearance.

All you do is realize its need for additional work. Adopt this way of thinking toward yourself. Whatever your present condition, just realize the need for more construction. Be patient with yourself, but be firm toward the necessary work that needs to be done. 

Self-worth comes from Self. That’s why it’s not called “Other- worth”. If your worth comes from others, you will never be able to love yourself. When you’re an expert on yourself, you’re an expert on everyone else.

A conscious person knows himself. He knows his nature, and therefore he knows everything about other people who have the same nature. Know yourself as you are, and you will know others as they are. 

Never be afraid to expose a weakness in yourself. Exposing a weakness is the beginning of strength. Remember – everything you learn about yourself is good news. No matter how difficult or surprising it 

may be, it’s always good news. Keep this in mind, especially in times when a new truth clashes with a belief that you know you must abandon but are reluctant to do so. A wise person is willing to give up a piece of coal in exchange for a diamond. Have the courage to do this and self-change begins. 

You don’t have to have permission from others to change your life.   Don’t ask, “Is this right for me to go against everything that I’ve been taught to believe?” Instead say, “Let me see how much intensity I can put into my search.” Your desire for personal freedom is the only search warrant you will ever need. 

Take a Look At What You Are Denying Yourself ?

If you’re going to learn the truth about yourself and live your life as you’re capable of living, a lot of people aren’t going to like it because they’re not committed to the same path as you are.

1. Are you going to deny yourself riches because others are poor?
2. Are you going to deny yourself health because millions of people are sick?

Take a good look at what you’re denying yourself, and don’t ever think of yourself as “wrong” for wanting what you want. 

As we move along the path of self-discovery, we’re bound to make mistakes. Those so-called mistakes, faults, sins, or errors are not you. Make sure you separate who you are from what you have and what you do.

You transcend what’s happening in your life as you realize that what’s happening in your life is only temporary and will always be changing. It’s important to understand that your Higher Self is changeless.

When you identify with your temporary nature, you take on the belief that what you have and what you do is the real you. It’s possibly the biggest error that you can make in life. 

To experience your own magnificence requires that you separate what you have and what you do from who you are. Learn to separate the performance from the performer, to become involved in what’s happening in your life, but not to identify with its temporary nature. 

As you stand on the seashore and watch the ships sail by there is no problem as long as you simply stand there and watch them go by. It’s only when you identify with the ships that you feel pain and suffering.

If you say, “That’s my ship,” then you will grieve when it passes from your sight. If you say, “I must command that ship,” then you will live in fear that someone else will become its captain.

Likewise, by simply watching and observing our mistakes and unworkable behavior without judgment, we prevent harmful identification with our temporary mistakes, faults, and errors. 

Authority is Within Yourself

As you start to question and look honestly at your life, you come to the point where you begin to realize that the only authority figure is within yourself. We look to other authorities to tell us what we’re supposed to do, but the only person who will ever know what to do is ourselves. 

Have you ever wondered why certain people are conned by con artists? A con artist cannot con someone who is conscious. People have trouble understanding why others take advantage of them.

The reason they get taken advantage of is that they give their power away and they don’t want to be responsible for their own lives. They don’t want to make their own decisions so they allow others to do it for them. But understand this truth: If you allow others to do it FOR you, they’ll do it TO you. As long as you let others have responsibility for your life, they will control your destiny. 

Why Do You Want To Change Your World? 

It’s easy to say that others are to blame, but this type of thinking puts us further into bondage because we set limits on our freedom.

Once again, straightening up our thinking involves separating what we have and what we do from who we are inside – separating the “doer” from the “deed”. The secret is to live in this world but not let the world live in us.

We want our boat in the water, but we don’t want the water in our boat. When the water’s in our boat, we start to sink, and we have to bail like crazy to stay afloat.

The problem is we often find ourselves drowning in the water of physical effects that we’ve created in our lives. Once we’re drowning we don’t know any other way to deal with it except to fight it and try to change our circumstances. 

Before I go any further, let me ask you: “Why do you want to change your world?”

Every time we attempt to change whatever’s going on around us, whether it be our business, our career, the government, members of our family, our mate or whatever, we’re operating under of the illusion that these people and events are doing something to us. Actually, what we need to do is to change our experience in relation to them. 

People and events never do anything to us. They merely trigger feelings that are already within us. If we go back to the basic principle of life we understand that nothing happens in the world that we don’t permit deep within our consciousness.

It’s been said many ways that it is done unto you as you believe, and sometimes those beliefs are very deep. Whatever is going on within our heart is in fundamental alignment with our outside experiences, even though we may not be consciously aware of it. I know this principle is difficult to accept because there are 

undoubtedly things in your life that you consciously do not want. However, the truth of the matter is, that there’s some deep inner need that you are satisfying. 

Imagine an unhappy person sitting at home stating, “I want to change my life.” This person redecorates his house. Then he finds himself just as unhappy as before. So he redecorates several times, and he still feels no change in himself. Do you know people who believe that they can change their level of happiness by changing their exterior scenery? Where have they made a mistake? Where can they correct themselves? 

If you will be totally honest with yourself and take a good look at what’s going on in your life, you’ll discover what is actually happening. Therefore it stands to reason that if we attempt and are successful in changing the outer effect but don’t change the inner causation, we will only create the same experience again. 

If you no longer know what to do, this process of self-evaluation is a very good path to finding yourself. It will help you to understand that the mechanical thinking process cannot rise above its own limited level.

If you’re not sure what to do or if you have any anxiety, don’t try to seek release from the anxiety. Just stay where you are and let it tell you something extraordinary, and it will. 

So the truth about you is that you’re not what you have and you’re not what you do. You are spiritually whole, complete, and perfect, and your success and happiness in life will be in direct proportion to your ability to accept this truth about yourself.