I want to give you some tools for becoming a powerful goal-setter. The concepts and ideas in this section may change the way you approach your whole life from now on. Self-belief – believing is seeing.
There is a general belief that is commonly accepted in this culture. The belief is that “Seeing is believing.” In essence, we must be realistic. If I can see it, then I’ll believe it. We have already learned that human beings behave not in accordance with the truth, but in accordance with their perception of the truth.
Perception of Reality Limits Success
People who must see it before they can believe it, or must have concrete feedback before they will take a risk, find it very difficult to grow and change. Most of their lives are spent waiting for something to happen rather than making it happen.
We stimulate our creative energy and drive in direct proportion to our ability to use our imagination. However, use of our imagination is limited by our perception of reality. All of us have some natural limitations in perceiving reality, but we can expand our awareness of this reality.
We are not limited by it unless we choose to be limited. In order to change this, we must be willing to take a good look to see if our perception of reality is perhaps limited or distorted.
No two people have the same awareness or perception of reality. This accounts for the uniqueness of each individual. Although we perceive the same world, we interpret what we see differently.
To the degree our awareness or perception is limited, our habits, thoughts and actions will also be limited. Our awareness is simply a combination of all the experiences, impressions and attitudes we have accumulated since birth.
Our awareness can be summed up as our total life experience. Our awareness determines the clarity with which we perceive and understand everything that affects our life.
Everything that happens in our life is filtered through our awareness. We then act in accordance with our present level of awareness. If our awareness is faulty, then our actions will be faulty. So, it isn’t what we know that gets us into trouble, it’s what we think we know that is not really so!
Every decision we make and every action we take is based on our level of awareness at any given moment. In order to be all we can be, we must constantly work to change and expand our level of awareness, or our perception of reality.
One of the faulty perceptions in most people’s awareness is that “seeing is believing”. But the truth is, because we can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
The reason we don’t see opportunities or solutions is not because they aren’t there; it’s because we haven’t determined what we are looking for. Rather than wait to see before believing, we must first set our goal before our reality will change. When we set a goal our brain and mind, working together, act as a natural filtering device that will help is to attain our goal.
What Are You Looking For?
The first thing we must do is ask, “What is of value to me? What is important or valuable to me? What am I looking for? What is it that I want? What end result do I want?” These questions and their answers play a very important role in your success.
The interplay between your brain and mind will not support you in obtaining your goals until it clearly understands exactly what you want. The information will not get through until you can answer the question, “What do I want?”
Wrap your mind around this idea – you must know what you want before you can become aware of how to get it. By determining first what
is of value to you, you automatically let information that is important to you filter through. You will increase your awareness of valuable opportunities and information that will help you obtain your goal by knowing exactly what you want – exactly what kind of house, job, car, income, client, relationship, etc.
Our brain-mind mechanism naturally filters out any information that is not of value to us or does not pose a threat to our security. It is important to understand this. Any information that is not of value to you or does not pose a threat to your survival does not get through to you.
It automatically gets filtered out. Like a spam filter on your email, the brain-mind functioning together screens out thousands of messages and allows only those messages or information to get through that have value to you.
If it allowed any and all information to come through, it would overload you nervous system and you would be unable to cope with all the data presented to it. To ensure your survival, it also allows threats of physical or psychological harm to get through at all times.
There is simply too much information constantly coming at us. It’s impossible for all of it to get through. So, we must determine exactly what we want. This will allow our brain-mind mechanism to become highly selective as to what information is of real value to us.
The Right Information When You Need It
Once we determine what we want, the information will start to flow through. Remember that because we cannot see it, does not mean it does not exist. It only means we are blocking out information that is not important to us at the moment.
This blocking is natural and simply a protective mechanism to keep us from going insane. Unchecked, however, this mechanism can limit our possibilities.
There is at any given time a vast amount of information available to support you in creating whatever you desire.
However, most people, or groups of people (and businesses fall into this category), try to solve problems without first determining exactly what they wish to accomplish.
They make decisions based on the available facts or the resources they have at the present moment.
The natural response is, “We can’t do that. We don’t know where the money is coming from. Who’s going to help us? We don’t have what we need. We don’t have what it takes,” or “We don’t have enough experience with this.”
Focusing on the End Result
What I want to share with you is this: You don’t need to know all those answers. In fact, if you did have the answers to all those questions, that information would, in the present moment, probably work against you.
What you do need to know is,
- What is the end result?
- Where do I want to end up?
- What do I want to create?
Set the goal first and the necessary information will get through. Having all the information first, without the goal only confuses the mind and works against you.
Remember this: Information does not come through first. Before the information can be filtered through, your brain-mind mechanism must lock onto the goal or end result. Once that is set, everything you need to know to accomplish the end result will present itself to you.
Unless something has personal value or threatens our security, we will not be conscious of the information that we need. In order to be conscious of this information, we must have the goal first.
High- performance people, people that get things done, know this secret: Believing Is Seeing. Everybody else wants to have the facts first before
they will believe. But it doesn’t work that way. You must believe in the goal first, and then you will see how to do it, because the necessary information will get through. You must determine what is of value to you
– what kind of client you want, what kind of home you want, what kind of knowledge you want – before it gets through.
You find What You are Looking For
Here is an example of how this works; suppose you are interested in a particular brand of automobile. Perhaps you are considering buying one, or you have just bought one. Notice that as soon as you decide what you want, you see this make of car everywhere.
There seem to be one passing you every few miles. Why? It is because that particular brand of car now has value to you.
This example could be applied to the goals of finding clients, jobs, businesses or people with whom you would like to be involved. As soon as you know what you are looking for, the opportunities and the information will become apparent. If you don’t know what you are looking for, you won’t find it, even if it passes through your life every day.
This also applies to your clients or customers. Knowing exactly what your customers or clients want will increase your awareness of how to help them obtain it. If you don’t know exactly what they want, the information on how to help them will not get through.
If you want to be a good conversationalist, you had better say something of value to the other person before you can get through. Otherwise they will just filter out or block out the conversation. We only pay attention to what is of value to us.
Thinking Outside Our Limitations
Another reason we don’t see opportunities is that we limit ourselves by the way we think. We must be willing to think outside our limitations.
We often feel uncomfortable psychologically when we experience contradictory or conflicting opinions, beliefs or attitudes at the same time. It is possible to hold different attitudes without emotional disharmony only as long as a situation does not occur in which these attitudes are brought into direct confrontation.
Generally, when people are placed into a new and unfamiliar environment or situation, a change of behavior or a modification of an attitude is necessary to lessen or eliminate the anxiety caused by the change. We are always seeking to maintain psychological balance by attempting to get things to fit together inside of ourselves.
The most common way to relieve conflicts is through rationalization. Rationalization is what people use when they attempt to explain their logic or reason for their actions, opinion or conduct.
In order for a person not to look foolish or make embarrassing mistakes, he will gather people and information that support his opinion or justify his conduct.
An example is when we meet a person of the opposite sex and we are attracted to a particular trait in that person, the tendency is to subconsciously see only the good features and block out the negative traits. This justifies our reason to have a relationship with that person.
Before a person makes a commitment or a decision, he will usually go through a stage where he evaluates the overall situation. During this time that person will usually be open to new information. However, once he makes a decision or commitment, he will start to gather only people or facts that make him look “good” or make him
“right” for believing and acting the way he does. This process is called clustering.
Unfortunately, when we seek to prove we are right for being the way we are or choosing what we choose, we block out information that may be useful to us in making rational decisions, essentially blinding ourselves to other options. When we lock onto an idea or a reason as to why something won’t work, the solution does not get through.
Solutions Instead of Problems
Because we can’t see a solution, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. If you tell yourself that there is no way to expand your business, no way to complete this or that project, no way to get something done or get what you want, you focus on the problem instead of the solution.
You can use your subconscious to help you gain answers and solutions, or you can use the same subconscious to come up with reasons or rationalizations why it can’t be done. The choice is always there, and the choice is always yours.
An example of this is when you want to buy something. Most people shop around for the lowest price. Once they’ve found the item they want, they usually will try to come up with creative ways to cut back on expenses or do without something else so they can afford it.
But what they don’t realize is that they could use the same creative energy to figure out a way to keep what they have and earn more money to buy what they want. In other words, they can use the same creative energy to move backward or move forward.
When fear sets in, we very easily rationalize why we should retreat, give up, cut back, or why we can’t do something. Are you using
your energies trying to figure out what things aren’t available to you or can’t happen for you, or are you putting your energy into how you can make them happen?
We Attract What We Feel Worthy Of
Another reason we see problems and failures instead of solutions or opportunities is because we do not feel worthy of being, doing or having the things we truly desire.
The problem is that we can only attract that which we feel worthy of. The greater your feelings of self-worth, the higher the value you have of yourself, the more options you have, and the more risks you can take.
The better you think of yourself, the more others will want to be part of your life. They will want to be your client, your customer or your friend.
A person with a strong sense of self-worth says, “I can handle anything. I don’t know how to handle it yet, but I didn’t need to know how to do this until now. Now that it’s here, the information will come through.” Everything then becomes an opportunity to learn and do more.
Allowing Others to Be Our Teacher
Sometimes the information that we need will come from other people. It can come in the form of a suggestion or even a criticism. However, if we have poor self-esteem or self-worth, we will not be able to accept suggestions or handle criticism from others.
Our response will be defensive, such as, “Why should I listen to my subordinates?” “Why should I listen to my children? What can they possibly know that I don’t know?” “Why should I listen to my mate? I’m smarter than he (or she) is.” But the error we make is this – when we accept only our opinion, we
shut out everything else. Again, our self-esteem or self-worth is not strong enough to accept input from others.
How many times have you said, “Don’t tell me how to do it. I want to do it myself.” What you are really saying is “I don’t want you to show me, because then you will appear smarter or more intelligent than I am. Because I have low self-esteem, it is important to look like I know what I am doing all the time.”
We have to allow others to be our teachers. This doesn’t mean we have to accept everything they say, but it is to our advantage to at least listen to them to see if what they have to say is of value.
It doesn’t matter who helps you or shows you the way. The only thing that matters is the end result. A healthy response is, “If you can show me how to get there easier, better or faster, then I want to learn from you.”
When you are unable to figure how to get what you want, it isn’t because you’re stupid. It’s because you are conditioned not to see beyond your present level of awareness.
In business, there is a tendency to lock on to approaches that are traditional. “This is the way we have always done it.” When we use that type of thinking and lock on to the way it was, we blind ourselves to the way it can be.
So ask yourself these questions:
“What ideas, beliefs or attitudes have I accepted?”
Is there an idea, opinion or attitude that I have that is not supporting me in getting where I want to go, doing what I want to do, or being what I want to be?” If there is, then you must be willing to let go of that idea, belief, or attitude and concentrate on the end result. You need to allow new information that will facilitate you in permitting the end result to get through.
I want you to recognize that you don’t need to know anything about a particular subject you want to learn or business you want to go into. Because you lack experience in something or weren’t good in a certain subject in school doesn’t mean you are incapable of learning it.
It just means that the information as to how to go about it wasn’t of value to you in the past. But watch how the information comes pouring through now that you have clearly defined what you want.
What I am leading you to is this: Once you decide on how you want to live, what you want your group to accomplish or what you personally want to create, the process becomes exciting, because the information will come through and you will go out and find a way to make it happen.
Gaining The Cooperation Of Others
I also encourage you to not only make things happen for yourself, but also for your business, your company, your family or any group you are working with. It isn’t so much what you believe, but what you can get the people around you to believe.
The key is getting others to believe they are far more capable than they think they are, and to get them to stop dwelling on their limitations, why something can’t be done, or the way they acted in the past.
You want them to begin focusing their attention on where they want to go or what they want to become. Once again, the end result is the only thing that counts.
When you have an idea or belief and are seeking to create something that did not exist before – a new product, service, business or whatever – your problem won’t be your belief in the idea. It will be trying to convince those around you that it is possible.
In order to get help and cooperation from others in reaching a goal, your biggest problem will be how to get others to believe in you. “How can I get them to support me?” This is the problem that every
leader faces. It isn’t so much a matter of what the leader believes, but rather what the leader can get the people around him or her to believe.
We know that everyone acts in accordance with truth, as they perceive it to be. If their perception of reality is faulty, they will come up with logical reasons why it won’t work, why it can’t be done, why it’s impossible, why it’s too difficult to accomplish.
Remember they are not intentionally trying to sabotage you or hold you back. They are acting in accord with the truth, as they perceive it to be.
The challenge is how to lead people to believe that they can do more than they think they are capable of doing.
Perhaps you can see that your children have potential. But it doesn’t do you any good to see their potential if they can’t see it. Perhaps you can see your employee’s potential or your mate’s potential, but it is meaningless unless they can see it, because they must act in accord with the truth, as they perceive it to be.
Help Others to Change Their Level of Expectation
Good leaders, parents and mates are able to help others to change their level of expectation, to change what they believe is true. They are able to motivate them to believe in something that they did not believe before and then help them to self-talk and image that belief into reality.
In order to do that, you can’t just ask them to blindly follow you. People today are too sophisticated for that. As children we do it because we live on faith, but very soon we become logical adults and we want logical reasons.
We have to teach others how to create from an idea, how to use the tools that we are learning throughout this book. If they
are not willing to use the tools, they will do everything they can to prove they are right in believing what they believe, and in the end, they will either try to sabotage you or try to stop you to make themselves right.
Surround Yourself with “Can-Do” People
Take a look at the people in your life that are telling you, “It can’t be done,” “There is no way,” “I can’t see how it can be done.
Are you allowing these people to determine whether you are capable or not?
In essence, are you giving your power away to these people?
If you are, make a decision to reclaim that power.
What kind of people do you surround yourself with in your business?
Are they people who are always looking for reasons why it can’t be done, or are you surrounding yourself with people who find solutions?
Be very careful when choosing the kind of people with whom you surround yourself, because they strongly influence your creativity, whether you realize it or not. Their negativity becomes contagious – in your office, in your relationships, in your family and in your business.
People who believe that things can’t be done will go out and prove themselves right. But people who know things can be done go out and make it happen.
If you have a business, don’t pay people to tell you that something can’t be done. You can think of all the reasons why it can’t be done yourself. You don’t need to have people around you to tell you it can’t be done and then pay them for the privilege.
Surround yourself with people of high self-esteem who can tell you how to get the job done, how to make it happen. Teach them to look for solutions instead of problems.
Every strong leader sets a goal and then does whatever is necessary to make it happen. If you educate the people around you to start setting goals based not on what is available, but on what it is you
want to accomplish, you will be a strong leader and the people around you will become high-performance people.
In order to experience growth or change we must learn to alter our level of expectation. To change our expectancy level, we must have a strong belief in ourselves and our goals.
We must know we can take an idea and make it happen. Everybody else wants to see it before they believe it, but you must believe it before you even see it. As you have more faith in your own power, you will transmit this to others.
With this knowledge of your own capabilities – and those of the people around you – you can do things that, to others, seem unrealistic or impossible.
The Real Meaning of Faith
What this all boils down to is having the ability to accomplish tasks that others find difficult or impossible.
How many goals have you set based on what was apparent, on what you can see, what you have and what you think is realistic? Don’t base your goals on what you have or what you have done, but on what you want and where you ultimately want to go.
What we are talking about here can be summed up in one word: faith. Faith is not something religious or esoteric. It is a sound psychological and physiological fact. When you understand how the brain-mind functions together, you know that faith, which is believing before seeing, is the natural process of creation.
When you understand that it is your belief or faith in your ability to create that determines your results, you are then able to go out and accomplish tasks that other people think are impossible.
You simply set your sights on what you want and then allow the information that will enable you to go out and create it without stress and without effort to come through. The reality is that whatever you are looking for is, at the same time, looking for you. It all starts with believing before seeing.