HOW OTHERS INFLUENCE YOUR WIN FACTOR

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In the course of researching this Program, I conducted hundreds of interviews with people who believed themselves to be “lucky.” An analysis of their responses led me to conclude that there was one significant thread running through the lives of ALL lucky people. The one very obvious thing that they all had in common was that they were curious people.

The curious personality is one that is open to all new relationships, circumstances and events. Not surprisingly, over half the people interviewed admitted that their luck had changed dramatically because of individuals that they happened to meet by “chance.”

In the course of attracting good luck and good fortune, it is extremely important to focus on this helpful information since most of our good luck will come to us through other people. Does this mean that everyone we meet is destined to have a beneficial effect upon our lives? Hardly! Perhaps only one in a hundred people will actually influence our good

luck and good fortune, but the important thing is to remain open to this possibility!

EXPANDING YOUR VIEW

Increasing your win factor involves exposing yourself to new relationships, ones that are happy, healthy and positive in nature.

  • Does the foregoing accurately describe the people you are presently associating with?
  • How would you rate these people in terms of optimism and success?

Remember! There is a natural tendency to emulate those we surround ourselves with.

While close friends and family members certainly play an important role in determining our good luck and good fortune, the most promising influence will usually come from strangers, or from people we hardly know.

The reason for this is that, over a period of time, friends and family tend to “settle in” to their comfortable little niches, and so, seldom have new and stimulating ideas or experiences to share. This is not to say that such relationships are not significant but rather that, in the context of increasing our luck potential, they are less likely to stimulate us in the proper ways.

The magical power of curiosity should never be underestimated. The curious person is generally somewhat adventurous, which automatically increases his or her potential for encountering more favorable “chances” in life.

The immediate reward to be gained from meeting new people and listening to their success stories is that this will motivate you to be more positive, more adventurous in your own life. As you listen to such people, you may hear only a sentence or two that is actually capable of

altering your limited views or perceptions, but this may be all that is needed!

ULIMITED THINKING INCREASES CREATIVITY

Once you find yourself surrounded by the right people, you will automatically begin to expand your horizons. There will be a tendency to allow yourself to engage in possibility thinking, which simply means that you have chosen to lay immediate obstacles aside and are now focusing on the end result. Possibility thinking is essential to your success. Why? Because all great works begin with great vision!

In the course of associating with possibility thinkers, you may uncover a somewhat disturbing truth about yourself. Think back for a moment (perhaps to your high school or college days), when someone you knew and admired was voted “most likely to succeed.”

In later years, you were probably not surprised if this person did; in fact, live up to what had been predicted about him or her. The reason for this is that it is relatively easy for us to have great visions about others, but what of the vision we hold of ourselves?

If you have children, notice how frequently you engage in the process of possibility thinking for them! I’m sure you often think about their future and all the wonderful paths they may take.

In romantic relationships, it is also not uncommon to endow your loved one with unlimited potential. After all, this is the person of your dreams!

But what about you? If you tend to see yourself and your own potential in a far more limited light, you have just uncovered the best possible reason for bringing some possibility thinkers into your life. What they

KNOW they can SHOW! Among other things, they will show you how to develop a far better image of yourself, how to recognize your TRUE potential and how to be the best possible YOU!

You may be sure that a large portion of your negative ideas came from people whose own inner doubts and fears were responsible for amplifying your own. Consider a situation in which you are having money problems. A negative-thinking individual would be the first to commiserate, to share with you all the financial reversals that he himself has experienced.

Over a period of time, the constant fears and struggles of others tend to cast doubt upon your own abilities to prosper. This is especially true if you have fallen into the habit of believing that these “other” people are smarter or more resourceful than you are.

If you truly believe this, you will tend to focus on your fears rather than on possible solutions to your problem.

The negative influence of others can also be extended to the collective thoughts of many people. Make no mistake about it! Large groups generate powerful thought patterns that may adversely affect you own thinking.

A good example of this is the news media, which constantly bombards us with talk about recessions, depressions or other potentially catastrophic events. Economic downturns often make people feel that everything is “out of control” when, in fact, these times are only counterbalancing to more prosperous times. What’s more, economic downturns are inevitable.

That being the case, you must decide for yourself if you are going to exist in perpetually “troubled times” or in a world of never-ending opportunity. It might interest you to know that many possibility thinkers actually prospered during the Great Depression.

It is all a matter of individual perception, and also, a matter of not allowing yourself to get caught up in a trap of accepting someone else’s thoughts, ideas or feelings as your own.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THOSE THAT CAN INFLUENCE YOUR WIN FACTOR

Winners attract good luck by recognizing and acting upon their own inherent characteristics and abilities. They do not dedicate themselves to anything that others think they should do or be. Rather, they allow themselves to follow their own inner prompting.

Winners may occasionally lose ground, but they never lose the battle. Through it all, they hold fast to their own self-confidence and self-esteem. In all circumstances, under all conditions, they are not afraid to use their own self-knowledge and to do their own thinking.

They separate facts from opinions and come to their own conclusions. While they do not pretend to have all the answers, they are not inclined to play the “helpless little victim” role. Nor do they blame others for their so-called “bad luck.”

Winners have an inner sense of timing that works to their advantage. They know when it is time to be assertive and when it is time to be passive. They also know there is a time to work and a time to play, a time to speak and a time to be silent, a time to be sociable and a time to be alone.

Quite simply, winners know that time is their most precious commodity, and rather than wasting it, they always use it in the most positive and productive ways.

Although they live in the moment and thoroughly enjoy life, winners have learned to postpone or delay gratification, which losers generally find it impossible to do.

Winners are able to make a successful transition from childhood to adulthood, from helplessness to independence. Notwithstanding the fact that they once depended upon others for food, clothing and shelter, they

are eager to assume responsibility for obtaining such things for themselves.

As mature individuals, Winners know that they can set themselves up to win or to lose, and that personal attitude plays a major role in their lives. For that reason alone, Winners live in a state of positive expectancy. They expect to win, and that is one of the reasons they DO!

Faith also plays an important role in a Winner’s life. Faith is a belief that there is something higher, greater, and much more powerful than we can call upon to awaken us to positive changes for good luck and good fortune. As we become more conscious and aware, we automatically begin to make better choices. When we expect to win, and then add faith to our expectations, we begin to accept winning as a natural and inevitable event.

Such is the character of Winners! Without doubt, such people can have a powerful influence upon your life. But so can losers!

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THOSE THAT CAN INFLUENCE YOUR LOSS FACTOR

The unfortunate thing about Losers is that they often approach us in disguise. Notwithstanding their own inability to win, they often create a “façade of success” with which they hope to impress others.

Have you ever know anyone who professes to be an “expert” on matters that interest you? You should know at the outset that true Winners do not think of themselves as experts. They know that living and learning is an ongoing process. But losers like to feel they have “arrived.” They also

like to convince others of it, and masquerading, as an expert is one way in which they attempt to do this.

What can you learn from a pseudo “expert”? Usually, all the reasons why something is impractical or impossible to do. Avoid “pseudo- experts”(not to be confused with highly experienced and knowledgeable people who stand ready and willing to assist you in whatever way they can.) It may take you a while to see through this particular disguise, but in time it will become obvious.

Another way in which a Loser may disguise himself is through the suggestion of wealth. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is part of what this masquerade is all about. Living in a house you can’t afford, driving a car it is breaking your back to buy insurance and registration for, being seen in all the “right” places and paying exorbitant fees for the privilege.

This is what status-conscious Losers often feel compelled to do. It is indeed unfortunate that so many others are suckered into their fraudulent lifestyle, actually envying these people for what they appear to have. What DO they have? Basically, a high-pressure, stress-filled life that is almost certain to drive them to an early grave.

In addition to the foregoing examples, Losers have many other ways of disguising themselves. Sometimes they do it through Size and Volume. I have know a few corporate executive types who were extremely intimidating to their subordinates because of their tall, portly appearance, and because they spoke in a loud, booming voice.

I have also known people who compensated for a lack of height by placing the desk in their office on a small podium. In front of the desk there could usually be found a velvet couch, which was specifically designed, for “sinking into.” Imagine how it might feel to talk with a tall, fat, loudly demonstrative “boss” while you were sitting on a piece of furniture that

gave you the sensation of having fallen down a hole. How would you feel about asking for a promotion and a raise in such a setting? How well do you think you would be able to debate an issue or defend a moral principle?

Oddly enough, the really great intimidators of this world tend to feel even less secure than the people they are constantly intimidating. That is their main reason for wanting power and control. Intimidators believe that whatever they don’t control, controls them. And perhaps they are right. If they tend to be drawn to others like themselves (which is often the case), everybody is sure to be playing the same game.

Another Loser type you should make it a point to avoid is the Ego Tripper. This person rarely, if ever, wears a disguise since he is so insanely proud of WHO and WHAT he thinks he is! Ego Trippers generally make a point of bending your ear on how well they have their “act together.”

They always talk in terms of megabucks, and are constantly working on the biggest deal that ever was! They are namedroppers, of course, and will try to impress you with their original paintings, with the labels on their suits – with everything they own and everyone they know. Are you impressed? NO? Good! That means you haven’t been taken in by yet another Loser.

Loser types come in so many different varieties that it would be virtually impossible to list them all. Even so, it is essential that your recognize them so you can avoid them.

Do you presently have any unpaid negative advisors in your life? These are people who are in the habit of criticizing your ideas and undermining your dreams. To hear them tell it, everything has already been tried. If others couldn’t do it, then neither can you. If allowed to, these

individuals will happily become the self-appointed guardians of your life. The object, of course, is to see to it that you are as firmly entrenched in a rut of frustration and hopelessness as they are. Watch out for such people!

Do you know anyone who is particularly adept at making you feel guilty about doing what you choose to do with your life? Such people will frequently remind you that since you have certain obligations and responsibilities in life, you can hardly afford to go off on some tangent.

To their way of thinking, a steady salary is obviously what is needed to insure the comfort and security of those you love. In this, we have yet another Loser philosophy. Where is it written that you can’t gradually phase yourself into a new career as you continue to work at something that provides the basic essentials of life?

IF OTHERS THINK YOU’RE CRAZY, MAYBE YOU’RE FINALLY GOING SANE!

The real problem with irrational arguments is that they eventually begin to make sense. If you persist in carrying on relationships with people who have branded you “a little crazy” (simply because they cannot identify with your desires or dreams), look out! Such people are usually the majority. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that they are “right.”

It just happens that there are a lot more people who do NOT pursue their dreams than people who DO.

But you already know that, right?

Then how can these people possibly dissuade you from achieving your goals?

Believe me, they CAN! And they have a number of insidious ways of going about it.

For one thing, their arguments may not be logical, but they are repetitive. For as long as there is an audience available, these Loser types will

continue to “harp on the same old string” until they finally wear you down. Don’t say it can’t happen! It can happen on a day when you are feeling a little depressed, a little under the weather, and a little more vulnerable than usual. On such days, you should never, ever expose yourself to the negativity of others.

If you happen to find yourself stuck with one of these Losers in a work environment, or any other environment from which you cannot immediately escape, then terminate the conversation, or tune these people out! There is always something you can do to maintain your equilibrium, to keep yourself in a positive frame of mind when everything around you seems hopelessly negative.

Think forward to a day when all these same “gloom-and-doomers” will be patting you on the back, insisting that they “always knew you could do it!” I promise you that such a day will come, and when it does, you will have mixed emotions. On the one hand, you will feel good about having proven yourself.

Then again, you may feel resentful toward those who were not generous or gracious enough to provide their moral support when you needed it the most. Whatever feelings you may experience, I urge you not to fight them. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, then lay let it go.

Not just for an hour or a day – but forever! Take comfort in the fact that you have managed to escape the bonds that still imprison so many others who have never dared to dream or ACT! Their lives are over while yours is just beginning!

POSSIBILITIES VS. LIABILITIES

One of the major differences between Winners and Losers is the way in which they view their own life situations. NOTE: You can expect people to influence YOUR life in much the same way that they influence their own lives. Here again, we have a strong argument for seeking out only

those people who are capable of influencing your “win factor” in a truly positive way.

You will immediately recognize a Winner as someone who is constantly concerned with possibilities. Losers, on the other hand, tend to be preoccupied with liabilities. Winners always have a realistic attitude toward what is involved. They will be quick to remind you that no one ever said it was easy or safe. It isn’t! Why SHOULD it be?

We are not here simply to avoid pain and to enjoy pleasure. We are here for a purpose – to accomplish our life’s work, to realize our true potential! And yes, there is a price tag attached. Winners are willing to pay that price in the interest of living life as it was meant to be lived.

“You win if the music is played according to your beat,” a Winner will say, “You lose, if it isn’t.”

Japanese philosopher Suzuki may have said it best: “I am an artist at living,” he once observed, “and my work of art is my life.”

What IS your life?

If you were to ask a lot of different people that question, the answers would probably astound you. The really astounding thing is that the answers themselves are usually so narrow. The reason for this is that we tend to equate our lives with whatever primarily dominates them.

My work is my life” is a typical answer. “My family and home” is another. What is interesting about these answers is the tenacious tone in which they are invariably voiced. It is as if the person speaking were actually more determined to see life through than actually to experience and enjoy it.

Life was not meant to be a task! It was meant to be a period of constant discovery, a constant unfolding, even as the petals of a flower unfold and open themselves to the sun.

  • Can you envision your life in these terms?
  • If not, is it because your life has become so routinely structured that there is nothing left to anticipate or enjoy?
  • Perhaps you have stopped trying to win, have resigned yourself to existing. Like a sentence to be served until your death. What grim thoughts on such a bright and sunny day! Had you even noticed what kind of day it was?
  • Why don’t you do that right now?
  • Open the door and look outside. Does the day hold promise or only problems? Possibilities or liabilities? 
  • What will the mail bring – good news or bad?
  • What will you do about it when it comes?

Try for a moment to see the day objectively, outside the realm of your own immediate thoughts and feelings. Take note of the reality that IS, the way it might appear to an alien being who had just landed on earth. Such a creature would not see things in terms of what he “expected the day to be like.”

His views and impressions would not be hopelessly clouded by the thought of having to fight traffic on the freeway, of having a tax bill to pay, of facing the threat of being demoted in his job.

He would simply look and observe what lay in front of him. Just as Winners do! Possibilities. Possibilities everywhere! A day of promise. A sprinkle of gold dust in the air!

Are you sure it is NOT that kind of day? Perhaps it is, and you have merely failed to see it. SEE if for once, and RESPOND to what you see! Consider the fact that there might actually be some wonderful things waiting to happen to you today. Happy little surprises you hadn’t really expected or counted on. Remember! We don’t get what we want; we get what we expect!

One of the interviews I conducted while writing this book was with a woman who was kind enough to share some childhood experiences.

“It was during World War II,” she told me. “My parents ran a boarding house. The number of vacant rooms we had always directly affected the mood in that house. Times were hard and we needed every cent that the rent from boarders could bring. Late at night, it was not uncommon for me to suddenly ‘fall awake’ and hear the voices of my parents in another room.

I would listen as they discussed the unpaid bills, and all the dreadful things that would undoubtedly happen to us. I could never bear to hear this last part, and would bury my head in my pillow rather than hear that we were to be tossed out into the snow. Interestingly enough, it never quite came to that, and we always managed to survive.

“During that period, there is one part of my life that stands out more vividly than the rest, perhaps because it was so uncharacteristically cheerful. It concerned itself with one of our female boarders, a young woman who worked in a local defense plant. She was dating an older man, someone I remember only as Jerry. Jerry was a nightclub singer who frequently entertained us with his lovely Irish tenor voice. The thing I particularly remember about him is that he always came into our house singing.

On the worst of all possible days, when it seemed that there might not be enough money to buy another load of coal for the furnace, Jerry would suddenly come through the door, singing the most popular tune of the day. All in a moment, the somber bleakness of our lives would be swept away.

I would find myself laughing and dancing with him. I never wanted him to leave. I imagined myself in love with him. For me, he represented all that life could ever be. Not only could be, but obviously was, at least while Jerry was there”.

This story is interesting because of what Jerry actually represented. He was certainly more than just a person to this frightened little girl whose life had been adversely affected by poverty and war. He was the other side of the coin, the hope and promise of a better and brighter tomorrow.

INFLUENCING YOUR OWN WIN FACTOR

Throughout you life there will be many Winners like Jerry who will do much to brighten your spirits, to point you in the right direction, and to give you the benefit of their knowledge and experience.

On the other hand, there will be many Losers who will do their level best to influence your life in a negative way.

The answer lies in the choices we make. Remember! The company you keep profoundly influences your Win Factor.

Part of betting on yourself is decreasing your association with Losers and increasing your association with Winners. Do this, and the odds will definitely turn in your favor!

Dr. Robert Anthony
WRITTEN BY

Dr. Robert Anthony

The works of Dr Robert Anthony are some of the best kept secrets on the Law of Attraction. Operating without the massive self-promotion and razzmatazz that so often accompanies other ‘Personal Development’ teachers, Dr Anthony has nevertheless provided a guiding direction to some of the most successful people on the planet.

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