Table of Contents Hide
- You believe what you have been programmed to believe.
- THE POWER OF BELIEFS
- INJUNCTIONS ARE CONTAMINATED MESSAGES
- FORMING A SELF-VIEW
- SORTING OUT THE TRUTH
- REINFORCING THROUGH SELF-DIALOGUE
- SIX NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS
- MY NEW SCRIPT:
To paraphrase Shakespeare, “Life is but a stage and we are the actors.” While Shakespeare, at that time, would not have been familiar with the concept of a life-script, he instinctively knew that we are all actors and actresses in this drama called “life.”
Creating a life script is our way of “fitting in” or even surviving in this world. But all too often, the role we assume is not of our own making or choosing. The original part was written by our parents and, through the years, is gradually modified or embellished upon by whomever we have come to accept as “authority figures.”
What are the roles we act out? Here is a list of some of the more common ones:
Loser Martyr People-Pleaser
Helpless One Prosecutor Enabler
Perfect One Rescuer Rebel
Sufferer Victim The Problem
Whatever part we choose, we will continue to act it out until we consciously decide to change it.
At present, your life script includes all the things your parents ever taught you, an everything else you have ever seen or heard that, in one way or another, helped to create certain perceptions that you now believe to be true.
NOTE: Most of what seems to be happening to you is actually happening because of you. You may be sure that the events in your life are presently occurring as a direct result of something you have consciously or unconsciously created directly, or simply allowed to happen. Most of it may have evolved from a period in your life when you had little or no voice in the matter.
You believe what you have been programmed to believe.
If you have been thinking that your beliefs are genetic, that you were simply born with a predisposition toward a certain kind of thinking, think again! The fact is, you believe what you have been programmed to believe. It doesn’t matter who did the programming, or whether the messages you received were true or false. It is your acceptance of those messages that formulates the basis for your belief system.
The process of rewriting your life script cannot begin until you are willing to take a closer and more critical look at exactly what it is that you have come to accept. It means rejecting false beliefs in favor of those that are true.
THE POWER OF BELIEFS
In order for us to accept an idea, we need only believe that it is true. Beliefs are so powerful that even if they have no basis in reality, our inner feelings about them will be enough to motivate us to take a specific course of action.
EXAMPLE: Let us assume that you believe (or feel) that you are inclined to overeat. Perhaps you have been fighting obesity for a number of yeas and have failed at every diet you have ever tried. Left alone with a box of cookies, do you suppose you will limit yourself to eating one only? Of course not! Your life-script dictates that you must eat the entire box. Why? Because you are an overeater and that is the role that an overeater plays.
Are you beginning to see how powerful your belief system really is? Although you may never have thought it possible, your belief system may presently have you doing all the things you would rather NOT be doing. How do you stop doing the things you would rather not be doing? Simple. Just write another script!
Beliefs are nothing more than perspectives from which we view life. In some cases they are true, and in others, they are not. Bear in mind that the subconscious will act on whatever is programmed into it. It does NOT examine or critique this information. It simply accepts it AS IS!
INJUNCTIONS ARE CONTAMINATED MESSAGES
These are distortions of reality expressed with highly emotional conviction, but without any logical basis. Contamination begins from the moment we are born and results from a child’s process of adaptation for
the purpose of gaining such life-essential needs as parental recognition, love, nurturing and acceptance. The messages themselves often remain long after there is no further need for them.
FORMING A SELF-VIEW
Here we have a viewpoint of ourselves that is born out of the way we think that others see us. Based on the feedback we receive, we tend to develop a form of internal dialogue and a perception of reality that is intended to support the feedback we receive. Consider a situation in which a child is repeatedly told that he is stupid or clumsy. Having been programmed in this way, the child will retain these messages and continue to play them out even as an adult.
If your old thought patterns are no longer useful and possibly even self- destructive, why do you suppose that you hold onto them? The answer lies in the basis for all our behavior patterns. They are tied into receiving “rewards.” Since early childhood, we have been trained to judge our own self-worth through the degree of acceptance we receive from parental/authority figures.
SORTING OUT THE TRUTH
Since we all act out a lift-script, which, in time, becomes our individual perception of reality, there is a pressing need to separate the truth from the lies. This can easily enough be accomplished through a five-step process:
- Take a good hard look at any belief (or mental block) that may be keeping you from doing, being or having whatever it is you desire.
- Ask yourself WHO told you these so-called “truths” in the first place. Isolate the source!
- Evaluate this source’s true ability to make such statements, and to have such a critical influence upon your life. Were the messages themselves coming from factual experience, or were they just the “passing on” their form of adaptive psychological reasoning? Were the people advising you well-meaning authority figures who were determined to pass on the credo of “right and wrong” that had been passed along to them by previous generations of well-meaning authorities, which don’t have any basis in reality either?
- Examine what was actually said, and what was truly meant. If you have somehow misinterpreted or misconstrued the message – WHY? Did you hear what was actually said or only what you wanted to hear?
- Ask yourself if your parents’ love for you was so limited that you could only retain it by adapting to their misconceptions and prejudices.
Bear in mind that hanging on to old beliefs is evidence of an unconscious desire to receive approval.
NOTE: The foregoing questions are designed to help you become more aware of how, why and when you started accepting negative thought patterns that are affecting your present life, and also, your future success.
Freedom can only be realized through a desire to finally “grow up,” which means that you are no longer willing to play out the life-script of a child. In actuality, you can only function as an adult when you finally
“leave home,” or give up the need for parental approval and recognition, as well as the approval and recognition of all other authority figures!
REINFORCING THROUGH SELF-DIALOGUE
Throughout our childhood, the authority figures in our lives programmed us either through contaminated messages or through positive reality- based messages. These came to us in the form of injunctions or commands. In addition, we gradually added our own messages, or internal self-dialogue.
Self-dialogue includes reviewing what has previously happened as well as previewing what we hope or even fear might happen. Controlling this inner language is the whole key to changing our life-script. The change itself occurs once we learn to isolate unreality-based negative programming, which is then replaced with “turnaround” messages. Here are some examples:
TURN AROUND MESSAGE
As you can see, it is extremely important to analyze negative self- dialogue and to replace it with positive turnaround messages. If you fail to do this, your present life-script will start pulling you off in the wrong direction.
A question you should always ask yourself is: “Although I have been saying this for years, is it really true? Is it really true that I (you fill in the blank)”.
Although you may find it hard to believe, ALL negative statements about yourself are false. You either accepted them as part of your original life- script or have concocted them on your own. In any case, the fact that you have accepted them does NOT make them true!
Remember – whenever you say something negative about yourself, you are creating a negative belief system. Having done this, you will then act out your beliefs as if they were true. And what you hold in your mind is automatically drawn to you, which tends to reinforce your negative programming.
SIX NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS
ANXIOUS THINKING – Perceiving dangers you feel you won’t be able to handle or cope with.
DEPRESSED THINKING – Convincing yourself that you lack the necessary skills to live a happy, well-adjusted life.
OBSESSIVE THINKING – Trapping yourself in a cycle of negative and sometimes illogical reasoning that never seems to resolve itself.
NARCISSISTIC THINKING – An exaggerated self-centeredness or constant preoccupation with yourself.
MASOCHISTIC THINKING – Deriving pleasure from the pain of suffering.
DETACHED THINKING – Suppressing your feelings and believing that “going it alone” is your greatest virtue.
NOTE: Until you clearly identify your negative thinking patterns, you will never be able to change the negative self-dialogue that tends to reinforce them
FIVE-STEPS TO CHANGING NEGATIVE SELF-DIALOGUE
Listen attentively to what you are actually saying to yourself. Do you like what you are hearing? If not, go on to Step 2.
Locate the SOURCE of your negative self-dialogue. Where did it begin? Who told you it was true?
STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF LIKE THAT! When the negative self-messages begin, you have to consciously STOP them. “If I only had…” “I’ll never…” “I can’t…” “What if…?” Whenever such ideasbegin to form, picture a big red STOP SIGN in your mind and immediately STOP what you are thinking!
Replace the negative thought pattern right then and there. Now is the time to correct it! Don’t let it get to the subjective level. Insist upon thinking for yourself. You are NOT a robot! There is no reason to blindly accept anything. You always have choices. Exercise them!
Redirect your turnaround thought toward a positive end result. Tie it into whatever you are seeking to accomplish. For example: If it has always been your tendency to say, “I’ll never be rich!” change the message to “I know I can earn enough money doing (fill in your goal) to meet all my needs.)
YOU ARE YOUR FUTURE
If you think that only a psychic can tell you what the future holds, you are wasting your time and money. You can easily determine your own future just by taking a closer look at the beliefs you presently accept. Whatever they are, you may be sure they will determine what is going to happen next.
The human mind is capable of generating images of either accomplishment or failure. At any given moment, you can hold only one primary belief, one primary feeling and one primary idea. If you seem to be vacillating between two beliefs, feelings or ideas, yoursubconscious mind will ultimately accept the more dominant one as your reality.
BELIEFS CONTROL FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
Feelings are what determine motivation. In order to change your behavior, you must first feel motivated to do so. Motivation, in turn, determines actions. What are we actually saying here? Simply this. Feelings not only affect what we do but how we do it. If our feelings are positive, our actions will be positive as well. But if we are negatively motivated by fear, resentment, anger or frustration, our actions will be negative and self-defeating.
The important thing to remember here is that our feelings are always controlled by our beliefs. That being the case, our self-dialogue and self-imagery must be closely monitored at all times in order to insure the most positive outlook on life.
THE END RESULT
The final outcome that results from our thought process is our actual behavior pattern. In other words, the end result is either what we do or fail to do. The right series of wrong actions can produce only wrong results and overall failure.
Throughout your life, you have undoubtedly asked yourself a number of the following questions: “Why do I do what I do?” “Why don’t I do what I should be doing instead of the opposite?” “What makes me act the way I act, behave as I behave?” “Is it that I don’t know any better?” “What is wrong with me?” “Why can’t I get my act together?”
There is a great amount of truth in the statement “To know better is not to do better.” The reason it is so difficult for you to make the transition from knowing to doing is that the life-script you have accepted. You cannot do otherwise unless your life-script is changed.
NOTE: How we act not only demonstrates our view of life but also our commitment to life. Once we understand that our thoughts and actions are irrevocably linked, we are better able to use our minds to accomplish our desires and goals.
RESISTANCE TO CHANGE
Resistance to change is consenting to a fate prescribed by parental/social programming or scripting. Wallowing in negative scripts authored by well-intentioned authority figures provides an excuse for failure. Make no mistake about it – your success or failure in life can be directly tied to the life-script you have accepted and are presently acting out.
By saying it is too difficult to change, you are merely erecting a wall of resistance. The reason you do this is that you are reluctant to cut through the old umbilical cord that has always tied you to an adaptive need for parental love, acceptance, recognition and approval.
Now for the good news! The past does not control the future unless you let it. If you want to behave like a seven-year-old child, then that is your choice. No one is forcing you to live that way.
Although we are strongly influenced by the experiences in our lives and the things we have been taught, the past only determines ourfuture behavior insofar as we allow it to. Our lives are run by our own design – either consciously or unconsciously.
The choices we make in the present are all that matter. We can either act out the past (play the child) or operate in the present (as an adult). For many of us, it is TIME TO GROW UP!
Realize that your resistance to change is quite normal. Because your subconscious mind is a survival mechanism, it will continue to respond to old programming until its accepts a new script.
Realize too that nothing outside of you is responsible for making you what you are. Who you are and what you do is determined by the way you choose to view yourself.
Change becomes easier to accept once you realize that it actually requires more energy to hold on to unworkable, outmoded beliefs than it does to change and to succeed!
While change means rejecting the past, it also offers many exciting opportunities for the future. In view of this, I urge you NOT to identify with the kind of self-dialogue that tends to restrict or defeat you.
EXAMPLE: “I can’t help it. That’s just the way I AM!” The truth is, whatever is happening in your right now is not determined by the way you are, but rather, by the way you have chosen to be.THE WILL TO CHANGE
Rewriting your life-script begins with the use of the WILL. But before one can exercise the power of WILL, one must first understand what it is, and how it was meant to be used.
There are many forms of WILL. The two we are primarily concerned with here are Good Will and Will Power, since these constitute the most effective tools for change.
Good Will is the power of benevolence. It is our basic acceptance of the fact that we are all truly united on this earth, in the sense that what affects one affects us all. Hence, the first aspect in recognizing and benefiting from the power of Will is…LOVE.
Love is a powerful universal force that harmonizes, attracts and motivates.
Success in life begins with properly loving oneself. It is not until you truly love yourself that you can also love others. Everything you do, every change you initiate will be filtered through the Good Will you feel toward yourself and others. By the same token, it is Good Will that enables you to forgive unconditionally and to excuse the mistakes of the past.
The second use of Will is through Will Power. In essence, Will Power embodies the most vital ingredient of change, which is self- determination. In order to have the Will Power or self-determination to alter your life-script, you must also have the following:
- A Purpose
- A Passion
- A Path
Your purpose on this earth is your overall reason for being. YOUR LIFE IS AS VALUABLE AS YOU MAKE IT! Life without purpose is fueled by anxiety, frustration and unhappiness. The logical alternative is to create a purpose and lifestyle you truly desire.
In a manner of speaking, your statement of purpose is your general mission in life. It tends to answer the question of “Why am I here.” It also acts as an overview and guide, moving you past survival needs and restrictive and self-defeating fears. It allows you to have the kind of faith in yourself that is bigger than any obstacle you could possibly encounter.
In determining our purpose for being, we must first determine what it is we truly love to do. NOTE: You will not feel a sense of true commitment to anything you do not feel strongly about! The most important aspect of a clearly defined purpose is that it lets us know when we are getting off the path. If what you are presently doing is not what you want to be doing; you are off the path of your purpose.
Passion is the way in which we demonstrate our purpose. Passion is expressed through commitment. It is also the path of the heart. Passion is best expressed when we love what we are doing rather than restrict ourselves to what we feel we “should” or “ought” to be doing.
Passion inspires motivation. We will not be committed to change unless we are properly motivated. While there are many forms of motivation, i.e., fear motivation, deficiency motivation and outward motivation, only inner motivation will guarantee permanent and lasting success. Why? Because this is motivation from the heart. It is the passion we experience when we become truly excited and enthusiastic about our personal desires and goals.
Finding your true purpose and passion begins with a personal commitment to purpose and passion. Take a close look at what motivates you to achieve. Reflect upon it. Keep coming back to that question until you have found the answer. Once you have it, write your answer down as you will need to refer to it later.
There is a specific path you must take in order to fulfill your purpose. Please understand that a purpose and a goal are not the same. The major difference is that purpose is an ongoing activity, while goals are the steps you take along the way.
The best way to begin is by telling yourself how EASY it is!
This thought will quickly become a belief, which you will the act upon in order to create the desired end result.
What you will need to get started:
- A clear VISION of what it is you really want.
- A BELIEF that you can change whatever needs to be changed and overcome any obstacle along the way.
- Practical SKILLS to put that belief into action.
REWRITING YOUR OLD LIFE-SCRIPT
Here is an exercise that will help you to rewrite and redesign your life- script. It will enable you to focus on the things that need to be changed and the best ways in which to change them.
CREATING A WINNING LIFE SCRIPT MY OLD SCRIPT:
My PURPOSE was: (Example) To receive love in the form of parental recognition and approval.
My PASSION was: (Example) To be “right” all the time rather than being happy. Being overly compliant to the wishes of others, and rescuing others before taking care of myself.
My PATH was: (Example) Living in the wrong place, working at the wrong job, associating with people who did not add to the quality of my life.
MY NEW SCRIPT:
I, (Your name here) , realize that everything I am and everything I do is determined by the programming that I have consciously or unconsciously accepted as my reality. This programming has created my present belief system. Until I change my beliefs, I will continue to act them out in negative and self-defeating ways. I desire to rewrite the life-script that was written to me by others:
My PURPOSE is: (Example) to do what I love and love what I do. To be totally responsible for my own choices, without the need for approval or recognition from others.
My PASSION is: (Example) To involve myself in a professional environment and in personal relationships that make me happy. To achieve excellence in everything I do without the need for perfection.
My PATH is: (Example) To find a new place to live. To change my job and start a new business that is truly aligned with my PURPOSE. To establish healthy relationships with positive people that add to the quality of my life.
MY PLAN OF ACTION IS:
The FIRST thing I am going to do is:
My target date for completion
The SECOND thing I am going to do is:
My target date for completion
CONTAMINATED BELIEFS THAT HAVE HELD ME BACK:
MY TURNAROUND THOUGHTS (AFFIRMATIONS) FOR SUCCESS:
I intend to reread my new life-script every morning before I start my day and every evening before I go to sleep so that I can successfully reprogram my subconscious success mechanism. I will do this every day for the next twenty-one days, without skipping a single day!
I am enthusiastic and excited about creating my new life script since this will enable me to free myself from past nonproductive patterns. I know that this is working for me because I am living proof that my past thoughts and actions have created my present reality. I am willing to do whatever it takes to become the person I want to be and to live the life I want to live. I accept this and expect positive results.
I Choose To Be A Winner